If you're reading this, you probably know me. And if you know me, you are aware that I live my life in a perpetual state of song lyrics. This week has been no exception.
Hey, so I'm not particularly a fan of The Grateful Dead. Don't get me wrong, Garcia was a super talented guitarist, and let's face it, Jerry Bears are pretty cute. They've just never been my thing; the last three or four days, however, I've found myself continuously singing those words in my head. Strange it has been.
The past year of my life has been a whirlwind. I went from Band Girlfriend to Solo Act in the span of 12 months. Literally. TxB's band played one of the first "real" gigs on my actual birthday last year. I gathered the people I loved the most in this world, and we all went out to booze it up for them. I remember glow sticks and patron shots. What's a girl to do when her boyfriend is playing on her birthday? Suck it up and play nice. And hey, I probably didn't realize I hated that so much. It seemed sort of fun at that time.
My actual birthday this year was spent in the worst class of my entire academic career. The professor is dreadful. And yet, I felt so much more grounded in my own skin, so much happier to be sitting in that classroom than I ever did as Band Girlfriend. And, I got to have dinner with my Unlikely Friend, who, as it turns out, is more important to me than nearly anyone else I have ever known. On a whim. Happy birthday to me!
In this year, the most significant relationship in my life ended. It's been a hard, rocky road. Inner panic, outer panic, fear, sadness, lust, envy, joy, excitement. A whirlwind, indeed.
But it's more than just that, right? Of course it is. I got promoted - a big promotion. I kicked up school to a new level that will allow me two concentrations in just 17 months. I mastered driving stick (don't laugh, I'm pretty proud). And hey, there is more, but it's not blogworthy. Or maybe it is, but I'm not going to tell you.
And then I turned 30 yesterday. A year ago, I dreaded birthdays. I dreaded doing or saying anything that put me in the limelight. I was Band Girlfriend, and she didn't like the spotlight. 30 is a whole new beast. This Solo Act waltzed herself into a birthday dinner, in a hot little outfit, happy to celebrate with the people who love her. This Solo Act enjoyed the experience, the attention, the love of her family. This Solo Act scored herself a date with someone sexy and smart. A first date. The last night of my 29th year. My very first first date.
I feel like my 29th birthday was 29 years ago. Perhaps it happened to me in another life, or maybe it's not my life at all. I don't wish Band Girlfriend was someone else all those years ago, because it's foolish to wish away the life you had. And yet, I never ever want to be her again.
It's been long. And it's been strange. But my what a trip this year has been.
Hey, so I'm not particularly a fan of The Grateful Dead. Don't get me wrong, Garcia was a super talented guitarist, and let's face it, Jerry Bears are pretty cute. They've just never been my thing; the last three or four days, however, I've found myself continuously singing those words in my head. Strange it has been.
The past year of my life has been a whirlwind. I went from Band Girlfriend to Solo Act in the span of 12 months. Literally. TxB's band played one of the first "real" gigs on my actual birthday last year. I gathered the people I loved the most in this world, and we all went out to booze it up for them. I remember glow sticks and patron shots. What's a girl to do when her boyfriend is playing on her birthday? Suck it up and play nice. And hey, I probably didn't realize I hated that so much. It seemed sort of fun at that time.
My actual birthday this year was spent in the worst class of my entire academic career. The professor is dreadful. And yet, I felt so much more grounded in my own skin, so much happier to be sitting in that classroom than I ever did as Band Girlfriend. And, I got to have dinner with my Unlikely Friend, who, as it turns out, is more important to me than nearly anyone else I have ever known. On a whim. Happy birthday to me!
In this year, the most significant relationship in my life ended. It's been a hard, rocky road. Inner panic, outer panic, fear, sadness, lust, envy, joy, excitement. A whirlwind, indeed.
But it's more than just that, right? Of course it is. I got promoted - a big promotion. I kicked up school to a new level that will allow me two concentrations in just 17 months. I mastered driving stick (don't laugh, I'm pretty proud). And hey, there is more, but it's not blogworthy. Or maybe it is, but I'm not going to tell you.
And then I turned 30 yesterday. A year ago, I dreaded birthdays. I dreaded doing or saying anything that put me in the limelight. I was Band Girlfriend, and she didn't like the spotlight. 30 is a whole new beast. This Solo Act waltzed herself into a birthday dinner, in a hot little outfit, happy to celebrate with the people who love her. This Solo Act enjoyed the experience, the attention, the love of her family. This Solo Act scored herself a date with someone sexy and smart. A first date. The last night of my 29th year. My very first first date.
I feel like my 29th birthday was 29 years ago. Perhaps it happened to me in another life, or maybe it's not my life at all. I don't wish Band Girlfriend was someone else all those years ago, because it's foolish to wish away the life you had. And yet, I never ever want to be her again.
It's been long. And it's been strange. But my what a trip this year has been.
I love hearing your voice...keep this up. Welcome to the next, fantastic chapter of your life! Mwah!
ReplyDeleteLove you LP. Thanks!
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